Anil Kapoor's movie Gandhi My Father, which focuses on Mahatma Gandhi's strained relations with his son, Harilal, has sparked off protests within the Brit Indian community, weeks before its release in Britain.
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Showing posts with label indian english. Show all posts
Showing posts with label indian english. Show all posts
Friday, July 13, 2007
BRITISH INDIANS ANGRY WITH ANIL KAPOOR OVER HIS FILM GANDHI -- MY FATHER
Anil Kapoor's movie Gandhi My Father, which focuses on Mahatma Gandhi's strained relations with his son, Harilal, has sparked off protests within the Brit Indian community, weeks before its release in Britain.
READ ON
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
SO WHAT IF THEY ARE CONQUERING THE WORLD, THE INDIANS ARE INVENTING THEIR WORLD LANGUAGE TOO!!
Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs;Pretty courteous they. In the bus (Busss) they always say yexuse me, saaar -- even if they ave ya yem. yay deheree. They speak yenglish but sorry, no indi(Hindi),poda! And Madras has a lot of Lates(ladies) and christeens (Christians). For Tamil dames (called 'figures') em.g.yaar (MGR) and kamallakkaasan are Romba jollu,pa! The more common Madarasi is an ardent fan of kireeket (cricket) matches.
Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in America, but speak Hinglish (English) like are you sure ki Sujata aa raha hai ya I'll go akela!. And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi grammar. The best hypocrites in the world.
Back to the thamizhs, they are verrry lecky (lucky) to haeve simble neighbours in the Keralites who are a comblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 BC from the middle east, I guess; and even now do when the Sheik feels wary of them). But they have excellent GK and do well in kiss (quiz) contests, eat a lot of chooclyte (chocolate) and own 99% of tea shops in the world. (Somebody said "Even if one go to the peak of Mount Everest one can find a Keralyte selling tea). Is easy to tell when is public holiday in Kerala -- noone's on strike.
Not far begind the kerals is the Telugu desam, who are totally againesht (against) flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu ('fant' with 'fleet' in Madras). Worustu, no?! But they are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu! Generally nice peoplesu !!!
The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas are the coolest lot down south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia or an ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Cauvery very bad!If you go uf (up), you land uf (up) in Udissa (Orissa) -- the land of irron ('r' unsilent)where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big owns. The people are bery cordial and, if you are Vikram, they bill soorly (surely) ask you 'B' or 'Bhe'. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohapotra in our colleze had a roll nomber jero,jero,sebhen.
Bengalees are bery similor, but are bery proud oph Subas Chondro Bosh and Shoatyojit Roy(I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray who was also pretty good) and everybody is 'X'da. Wonder...never mind. Bot I most confess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!
And Biharees are bery phond of Laloo and Ranchi, ka isse bhadiya tumre pass kooch hai, kaa?!
UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and istudied metals to make lots of ishteel.
Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer 'Rotti Shotti Khayega!' to which I once replied 'No'. He said 'Tage itu, yaar!'By God'u! 'Surjeetu, what happenedu, woi ?!'. That's P'njab.
Sindhis are also a very affable lot but very strict. See, our sindhi principal used to say 'Out you go! you're suspaendaed!' But,frankly was the first to say 'Koong ragulations!' when we achieved something.
And Kashmir(called 'Cashmir' by many, maybe cos of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India ?!?) I know 'Roja' was shot(I mean filmed) somewhere nearby... ...To Sur bane hamaara!
--- Yenonimusu
Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in America, but speak Hinglish (English) like are you sure ki Sujata aa raha hai ya I'll go akela!. And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi grammar. The best hypocrites in the world.
Back to the thamizhs, they are verrry lecky (lucky) to haeve simble neighbours in the Keralites who are a comblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 BC from the middle east, I guess; and even now do when the Sheik feels wary of them). But they have excellent GK and do well in kiss (quiz) contests, eat a lot of chooclyte (chocolate) and own 99% of tea shops in the world. (Somebody said "Even if one go to the peak of Mount Everest one can find a Keralyte selling tea). Is easy to tell when is public holiday in Kerala -- noone's on strike.
Not far begind the kerals is the Telugu desam, who are totally againesht (against) flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu ('fant' with 'fleet' in Madras). Worustu, no?! But they are greatu in CICSu, Microsu and COBOLu! Generally nice peoplesu !!!
The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas are the coolest lot down south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia or an ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Cauvery very bad!If you go uf (up), you land uf (up) in Udissa (Orissa) -- the land of irron ('r' unsilent)where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big owns. The people are bery cordial and, if you are Vikram, they bill soorly (surely) ask you 'B' or 'Bhe'. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at the wasbashin. James Bond Mohapotra in our colleze had a roll nomber jero,jero,sebhen.
Bengalees are bery similor, but are bery proud oph Subas Chondro Bosh and Shoatyojit Roy(I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray who was also pretty good) and everybody is 'X'da. Wonder...never mind. Bot I most confess, Roshgollas are bery goooood, tho!
And Biharees are bery phond of Laloo and Ranchi, ka isse bhadiya tumre pass kooch hai, kaa?!
UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and istudied metals to make lots of ishteel.
Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer 'Rotti Shotti Khayega!' to which I once replied 'No'. He said 'Tage itu, yaar!'By God'u! 'Surjeetu, what happenedu, woi ?!'. That's P'njab.
Sindhis are also a very affable lot but very strict. See, our sindhi principal used to say 'Out you go! you're suspaendaed!' But,frankly was the first to say 'Koong ragulations!' when we achieved something.
And Kashmir(called 'Cashmir' by many, maybe cos of the amount of cash spent to keep it in India ?!?) I know 'Roja' was shot(I mean filmed) somewhere nearby... ...To Sur bane hamaara!
--- Yenonimusu
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
ENGLISH LADY, INDIAN SCHOOLMASTER, AND THE CONFUSION OVER THE CLOSET!!
In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.
She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet".
She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam, take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.
It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.
You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time.
I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.
The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed.
I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster
The Woman fainted reading the reply........ and she never visited India !!!!
She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet".
She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam, take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.
It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.
You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time.
I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.
The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed.
I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster
The Woman fainted reading the reply........ and she never visited India !!!!
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